Turns out you don't have to actually know who you're suing to file a lawsuit, because Beyonce is going after a bunch of John and Jane Does for hawking fake goods at her concerts.
Beyonce has filed a federal lawsuit today in New York, alleging that a pile of shady people have sold knock-off CDs and merchandise in "the vicinity" of past concerts she's performed around the world.
Beyonce believes the piracy is bound to happen again -- specifically at her upcoming concerts at Madison Square Garden on June 21 and 22 -- so she's asking the court to deem it illegal before the bootlegged booty hits the streets.
Just when we thought Beyonce's "Single Ladies" was out of our head, and we were finished seeing every moron with a leotard and webcam dance to it ... Joe Jonas had to drum up all those disturbing memories by putting a purity ring on it himself.
So much for doing it for the fans. Tickets for Beyonce's four night "intimate" appearance at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas are going fast -- but only to rich people. Fans have to buy their tickets along with a two night stay in the hotel -- packages range from $450 and $850 per person -- and that's just for starters.
If that's too rich for your blood and you want to skip the hotel, a limited number of tickets are selling for $250, $500, $750, and $1000 (again, per person).
Our source at the Wynn tells us that ticket-only seating cannot exceed 1% of total ticket sales. That means in the 1500-seat Encore theater, only 10-15 tickets will be available without hotel fees.
FYI ... the world record for the number of people stuffed into a phone booth is 22.
Beyonce has officially been cleared of all bad singing charges -- the atrocious supposed "board mix" of her performance on "The Today Show" last year was altered after all.
Just as Mathew Knowles told us, the audio clip that many people believed was leaked from "Today" was indeed a fake.
In fact, TMZ found the person behind the prank who was surprised it went as far as it did, saying, "It's a little bit crazy. No one in their right mind would sound like that, and no one would cheer for someone singing like that."
Apparently, the dude never went to an Ashlee Simpson concert...
Beyonce's dad is on the warpath against the people attacking his daughter for the supposed "board mix" audio of B singing at "The Today Show" -- claiming all doubters of her ability are "idiots."
In a fiery statement to TMZ, Mathew Knowles, who's also Bey's manager, says his daughter was set up. It's one of the best statements we've ever gotten.
"If no one took the time to look at the biggest Inauguration in the history of America then shame on them.
If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America the Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot.
At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability.
That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered."
If you've ever wondered what a cat sounds like when it's being strangled, then you're gonna love the supposed raw, unedited, "board mix" of Beyonce Knowles from her "Today Show" performance last year -- courtesy of Howard Stern.
The King of All Media ran the supposedly leaked audio clip on his Sirius radio show yesterday.
Beyonce's little sister has fallen and she can't get up!
Solange Knowles was hospitalized last week for dehydration and low blood pressure -- and these pictures were snapped as she lay passed out on the ground. Knowles went on to Twitter about how she thinks she took too much Nyquil and woke up surrounded by random people.
No word if this was a part of Etta James' revenge plot.
With just two little words, Beyonce re-ignited the world's biggest cat fight at the Oscars last night -- belting out the same song Etta James threatened to "whip Beyonce's ass" over just a few weeks ago.
Completely ignoring the verbal attack and physical threats Etta unleashed when B sang "At Last" at Obama's Inauguration, Knowles busted out the song AGAIN during last night's Oscar telecast -- as the most dramatic moment of an absolutely horrendous musical number.
B had to know it'd make James pissed, so we gotta ask ...
So who's the biatch? Etta or Beyonce? Etta says neither, because she was just kidding when she said she threatened Beyonce with an ass-whooping. Right.
James tells the NY Daily News her words were not from a vicious place. We're lovin' this ...
Etta confesses she felt left out of the Inauguration festivities because she wasn't asked to sing "her song," adding that she thinks she could have sung the song better. As we pointed out, even though she made "At Last" famous, it wasn't her song -- Glenn Miller first recorded it in 1942.
So ... Beyonce could have said no. But then again, why the hell should she?
Beyonce might be mum on Etta James' wacko verbal slap, but Barack and Michelle Obama, apparently, were taken more than a little aback.
A White House insider tells the Chicago Sun-Times the First Couple was "stunned" by James' remarks. "It never crossed anyone's mind that there was anything inappropriate about Beyonce singing that song," admitted the source. Worse yet, "I'm sure some of the younger people involved didn't even know she is alive!"
Etta said yesterday it was all a big joke. Hilarious.
If Etta James thinks she should beat down Beyonce for covering "her song," then by her own logic, Etta has a couple of ass-kickings coming her way too -- 'cause Etta's version of "At Last" was a cover too!
Etta went on stage in Seattle last week and told the crowd she's gonna lay the smack down on B for "singin' my song" at Obama's Inauguration Ball. But not only did the 71-year-old not write the song, she wasn't even the first -- or second -- to record it!
Glenn Miller did it first in 1942, followed by Nat King Cole in 1957. Etta got around to recording it in 1961. In fact, Glenn's version ranked higher on the Billboard Pop Singles chart than Etta's ever did.
FYI -- neither Miller nor Cole ever threatened to beat Etta's ass -- although it's about time someone knocks some sense into that lady.
This is not a joke: 71-year-old Etta James actually threatened to beat the crap out of Beyoncé Knowles -- and it's caught all on tape!
The war is all over Etta's song, "At Last " -- Beyoncé sang the tune at Obama's 1st Inauguration Ball on Jan. 20th ... but last week at a concert in Seattle, James was still pissed.
While on stage, Etta told the crowd, "Your President, the one with the big ears ... he had that woman singing my song. She gone get her ass whipped."
She continued, "The great Beyoncé ... I can't stand Beyoncé," according to audio from Crown City Media.
Ironically Etta didn't kick up this sorta fuss when Beyoncé portrayed her in "Cadillac Records."
Maybe she shouldn't have put a ring on it -- because this weekend at LAX, Beyonce kept setting off the metal detector and had to be pulled out of line for a little close contact wanding.
Every party has a pooper and last night it was Alicia Keys.
Beyonce got everyone on their feet at the AMAs last night with her annoyingly catchy "Single Ladies" -- everyone but Miss Keys and that random dude who sat next to Queen Latifah.
Turns out you don't have to actually know who you're suing to file a lawsuit, because Beyonce is going after a bunch of John and Jane Does for hawking fake goods at her concerts.
Beyonce has officially been cleared of all bad singing charges -- the atrocious supposed "board mix" of 
Beyonce's dad is on the warpath against the people attacking his daughter for the supposed 
So who's the biatch? Etta or Beyonce? Etta says neither, because she was just kidding when she said she threatened Beyonce with an ass-whooping. Right.
Beyonce might be mum on Etta James' wacko verbal slap, but Barack and Michelle Obama, apparently, were taken more than a little aback.
